1. 4. Wear sensible shoes that suggest you plan to stand in front of the sink for a few hours after dinner:

    Your red-soled Louboutins will play like a cape in a bullring if they are kicked up after dinner.

    How to get invited back for Thanksgiving dinner

     


  2. When your turkey comes out drier than the Sahara, remember this podcast.

    Subscribe to all of The Week’s mini-podcasts here.

     


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  4. 2. Stuffing:

    Turkey merely provides a cavity for stuffing, Thanksgiving’s true centerpiece. Stuffing is a reward, akin to delectable candy packed into a tasteless Butterball piñata. Stuffing is so good, in fact, that we willfully eat it out of the rear end of a dead animal.

     


  5. Instead of cranberry sauce from the can…

    …how about some pear, brandy, and walnut cranberry sauce?

    Instead of gravy…

    …you could top your turkey with some Tuscan onion confit.

    Instead of buttering your bread…

    …spread some herb jam with olives and lemon.

    7 delicious Thanksgiving cranberry sauces and condiments

     


  6. Sweet potato, radicchio, + tomato hash with harissa hollandaise

    Farro with roasted sweet potato, kale and pomegranate seeds

    Sweet potato parsnip latkes with feta and leeks

    From 13 seasonal sweet potato recipes to eat all day long

     

  7. In 1927, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade introduced its first balloon: Felix the Cat. Macy’s had no contingency plan for deflating the helium-filled balloon once the parade was over. So organizers decided to just let the balloon float away, expecting it to safely come down to earth after a few days. Instead, it exploded before clearing the city, injuring several New Yorkers.

     

  8. Cartoon of the day: A very touchy Thanksgiving
    Rick McKee © 2012 Cagle Cartoons

    More toons

     


  9. We love Turkey, and we’re not about to change our name.
    — A resident of the small town of Turkey, Texas, in response to PETA’S request that the town change its name to Tofurky for Thanksgiving — in honor of the vegan turkey alternative.
     

  10. Thanksgiving food, by the numbers:

    3,000 — The estimated amount of calories in a typical Thanksgiving meal, including turkey, side dishes, and dessert

    590 — The amount of calories in an average serving of a traditionally prepared Thanksgiving turkey

    5,000 to 6,000 — The estimated amount of calories people consume throughout Thanksgiving Day — roughly triple the recommended daily intake

    3,500 — The amount of calories needed for the body to create one extra pound of fat

    Nom nom nom nom

     

  11. A hippo balloon floats in the 1940 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade: Before balloons became the event’s major draw, live animals were led down Manhattan streets. For the parade’s first few years, animals from the Central Park Zoo joined the marching bands and clowns on the procession route.

    Photos: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade through the years

     

  12. Thanksgiving Turkey Cake

    Want all the trappings of a traditional Thanksgiving meal, without having to dirty more than one dish? Why not bake a turkey cake? The chefs at Chow have come up with a savory Thanksgiving cake made up of layers of turkey, mashed potato, stuffing, cranberry sauce and topped with sweet potato and marshmallow. “Whether this Thanksgiving centerpiece incites horror, amazement, or confusion when it’s served,” says creator Amy Wisniewski, “it’s certain to evoke some kind of outburst.”

    And four other gut-busting Thanksgiving meals

     


  13. Shut up and be scanned.
    — The Los Angeles Times editorial board has some advice for travelers considering gumming up airport security lines with "opt out" protests the day before Thanksgiving. Instead of insisting on the “seriously embarrassing” new TSA pat-downs, just go through the new full-body scanners. And if the “overblown” privacy fears or “shrug-worthy” health concerns inspire you to make the busiest travel day “positively unbearable,” the L.A. Times says, “perhaps you should stay on the ground.”