American cultural norms steer us toward monogamy — a faithful, one-on-one, forsaking-all-others, ‘til-death-do-us-part definition of love and intimacy that usually involves marriage. For a lot of us, this works. For others, it doesn’t. There’s not a community in the country that hasn’t experienced the scandal of extracurricular romance.
All this begs the question: Is there a functional alternative for those who are not by nature monogamous? One that doesn’t involve secrets, dissemblance, and emotional betrayal?
It’s because it’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive, I think, and I totally get it. If you are not into me, that’s your problem.
Lena Dunham, answering a critic who “doesn’t get” why she’s “naked, at random times, for no reason” so often on Girls.
Japanese teens and young men known as shut-ins, who eschew human contact and spend their days playing video games and reading comics in their parents’ homes. There are an estimated 1 million hikikomori in Japan, contributing to a worrisome drop in the Japanese population.
We heard the countdown starting and decided to stay outside. I started to cry and you kissed me, and then we started to make out. After a minute I felt something warm and realized that you pissed yourself.
A New Year’s Eve Craigslist “missed connection”.
The sexual organs, too, are very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them, these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak. It lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis, and heart disease. It weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and listless. It even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, commit suicide.
From 1903’s Perfect Womanhood for Maidens — Wives — Mothers.
There are some obvious flaws to the study. For one, it’s based on the assumption that the subset of men who buy condoms online is representative of the state as a whole. Also, men could be ordering condoms in the wrong size, either mistakenly or purposefully — if you’ve ever spent some time in the company of middle school boys, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
It’s almost an overworn joke to notice how many white guys tell you that (sorry!) they aren’t into black women, or how many gay guys will include “No Asians” in their profiles. (I think I’ve read like 18 Huffington Post pieces alone about that last anecdote.) This is real racism, blatant and banal, casual and even comfortable. For those who say that “people have their preferences,” I would simply ask them whether it’s worth broadcasting them simply to prevent the appearance of a picture of a black woman or an Asian man in your inbox.
There have been several HIV scares when I had to make those phone calls and figure out for myself how close I was to patient zero. There are no groups within porn protecting performers; it’s always been up to performers to keep track of their scene partners, to check tests for themselves, and to make those phone calls no one wants to make.
Porn star Aurora Snow
The percentage of survey respondents who have hooked up with exes over the holiday; and the percentage who think the best time to reveal secret feelings for a coworker is at a holiday party. Yikes.