1. Mila Kunis is pregnant. Ashton Kutcher is not. Got it?

     

  2. Can Katy Perry beat a Katy Perry super-fan in a Katy Perry quiz show?

    Jimmy Kimmel pits Perry against an apparently real super-fan, Emily Draznik, in a trivia contest about Perry’s life and music.

     

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  4. Rep. Lisa Brown Mich., has been reprimanded by House Republicans for using the word “vagina”: Brown responded by saying, “If I can’t say the word vagina, why are we legislating vaginas?” 

    GOOD DAY FOR:

    Weapons of mass deliciousness
    The U.S. Army celebrates its 237th birthday with a cupcake-shooting tank. [GlobalPost]

    Moving to the sticks

    A new report finds that parents in rural areas spend 20 percent less to raise a child than urban families do. [The Daily]

    A forever-young fish
    The goldfish a British man won when he was 4 years old is still alive and swimming for its owner’s 28th birthday. [Discovery News]

    BAD DAY FOR:

    Coping quietly with culinary disappointment
    A man calls 911 after a deli gets his sandwich order wrong and ignores his request for a “lot of mayonnaise.” [Gothamist]

    Anatomical correctness
    A Michigan lawmaker is banned from the House floor after she uses the word “vagina” while criticizing an anti-abortion bill. [New York]

    Nurturing the young
    Jimmy Kimmel hooks a young boy up to a fake lie detector and gets him to spill his secrets on live television. [Business Insider]